Random thoughts…

We went to the Relay for Life on Friday night. And it was one of those nights when I felt as though I was doing it right, the whole parenting thing. You know, most of the time, I’m not sure how it’s turning out. I do my best, try to be consistent and fair and loving and give them a sense of wonder and joy and delight, but also a sense of discipline and self control. Friday night, my girl was an angel, well behaved, funny, sweet – just a joy to be around. She dressed up in ballerina costumes all night and bounced all over the place, thrilled to betsy to be there. It was a proud night, as a mom. Saturday was very quiet, Josh and Janet came over with their three boys – Baby Michael is such a little love – so peaceful and quiet. It makes me crave another baby – but I’m working hard on convincing myself to take the time and just enjoy Sam’s toddlerhood first. There’s time for another baby, right? Then I start to overthink it and quickly decide that you never know, maybe I should rush into it, rip out the IUD and start trying for number 3. I just read a scary book about a woman who just got thru breast cancer and can’t have any more, she always wanted four kids. Now she’s got two, and even though she’s so grateful to have beaten cancer, it’s going to bug her for the rest of her life that she hadn’t had those other two children… made me think a little more….