Periodically, I remember that I have a blog, and that I should write. Initially, when I started blogging, it was because my “good morning” emails to my mother and Becky were too long, and I liked having a format where I could write and write as much as I wanted. Then I realized that what …
Category Archive: Uncategorized
Jan 10
This is weird
Because I’m starting to wrap my head around the idea of being middle aged. Fifty is middle aged. I mean, assuming that all goes according to plan and I live to be 100, I’m about midway through. And things are different now, than they were. I’m tired. A lot. I’m in the middle of caring …
Jan 06
New Year, New Feet
I’m not a New Year’s girl. I don’t like drinking, and even before I had kids, I was never comfortable with the whole partying atmosphere. So I mostly ignore the holiday. New Years Eve, to me, is what Christmas is to most Jews. Not my holiday and I’m kind of confused and a little irritated …
Sep 18
There is no stagnation
That’s’ the thing with life, it keeps moving into new and different stages. Everything is different now, in a completely different place than it was last year. The past year has seen Julie’s concussion – which lasted for the better part of a year, and Sam’s transition to full time in person school at Perkins. …
Jul 31
Summer Camp
Sam isn’t at summer camp, exactly. He’s at a UMass summer program for college readiness. He’s struggling, and I’m struggling. There’s this mind-set of pep talking him, of being the mom in charge, of handling it, and I slipped back into that so fast. Relentless positivity, validation and breezing past the fear, focusing on the …
Apr 03
I’m drowning
Let’s just be honest. I’m not handling things well. Sam is struggling in school. Mostly because he still doesn’t have the accomodations he needs, and I’m struggling to find the time to go through all the lessons with him. So it’s not so much that he’s struggling as I am. We’re in the process of …
Mar 14
A three legged stool
This is me. Jessie had a busy weekend. Which, of course, happens. And I’m grateful it does. I’m thrilled that she’s happy and focused and busy and living her best life. But it meant that I went two and a half days with no contact whatsoever from her. I was busy myself, I had things …
Jan 24
49
So this is happening. I’m working hard at being okay with getting older. I’m practicing telling myself I’m 50, in hopes that when I actually turn 50 next year, it will feel normal. Because it seems bizzare to me that I’m 50. I mean, I’m not, I’m still technically 48, but 49 is tomorrow, and …
Dec 31
New Years Eve
Not my favorite holiday – although not my least favorite holiday. It almost seems like one I don’t particularly celebrate. Other than the book lists – I’ve been happily jotting down all the book recommendations. It’s a quiet morning today – all three kids are still asleep. I slept in until almost eight, which is …
Dec 15
Emotional Muscle Memory
For years, every February, April and July, I’d want another baby. I’d find myself dreaming about infants, thinking about how we’d fit another car seat in the car. I realized that on some level, my body, my emotions, remembered being in that state. Being nine months pregnant and so ready to hold my baby. It’s …
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