My days with her are whittled down to squares on the calendar. Julie has a calendar she keeps on the wall in the living room, and wherever I sit, I can see it. I haven’t counted them up yet, but I can’t quite help myself from counting the weeks. Three full weeks left. Two partial. …
Category Archive: Uncategorized
Jul 21
Five Weeks
I mean, counting down isn’t good for anyone. I know that. It’s like googling a medical condition. Everyone says it’s a bad idea, but I do it anyway. More knowledge is better than less. At least that’s what I’m telling myself. But there are five weeks left until Jessie moves out, and I’m… wordless. I …
May 26
Last Day of High School
I remember her first day of kindergarten, how Sam cried so hard. He was angry that I let her walk away with her class. She’s my first, so I’m always figuring out how to do things with her. I think sometimes we miss that reality – that we’re always a new mom when it comes …
May 15
When will I read????
We’ve had fourteen months of staying at home. All the time. I mean, I went grocery shopping, visited my parents once a month or so, but otherwise, that was it. I went WEEKS with nothing on my calendar. And suddenly, it’s over. Jessie’s working three different jobs (soon to add a fourth), finishing up end …
May 04
Mondays
It wasn’t a good day. I struggle with Julianna’s anxiety. When she gets anxious, she shuts down, withdraws and wants to be alone. And it kills me. It breaks my heart that she’s alone with it, and I want so badly to comfort her and help her and let her know that she’s not alone. …
Apr 01
Passover 2021
Passover takes on a different meaning when your son is diagnosed with celiac disease just before it starts. It’s not that it’s meaningless, because we had the Seder and it was lovely. But adding in Passover restrictions seems pointless when we’re grappling with a permanent dietary restriction that goes beyond matzoh – which isn’t gluten …
Mar 26
Too much
Sam was diagnosed with celiac disease today. It’s been eight months since he started vomiting daily. Two rounds of antibiotics, one endoscopy, multiple rounds of blood work, two allergists, one ENT doctor, two GI specialists, and a final round of tests that I asked for out of desperation. We got the bloodwork back two days …
Mar 23
Five months and two weeks
Yeah – I’ve started the countdown. We’re all preparing for Jessie to move out. She’s been accepted at 7 out of the 8 colleges who have announced acceptances so far, and at least two of them are currently contenders. And the financial aid is so much better than we had hoped. She’s going to college. …
Mar 01
This isn’t going well
I’ve got one kid who’s basically hiding in my bedroom 24/7, staring at her phone and refusing to do schoolwork. Another one who’s fine with school, up to date with everything, but constantly anxious, he just doesn’t know why. And another one who, with three months until the end of senior year, is breaking down …
Feb 26
Recovering
There are some wounds you don’t heal from. Some blows that you just don’t move past or recover from. And that’s part of life, and it’s hard and it hurts and there are certain songs that will play and instantly bring me back to a part of my life that was so exquisitely painful that …
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