Sometimes, just for my misery, I think of the computer as Marc’s extramarital companion. She (the computer) takes away time and attention from the kids and I, demanding devotion – making him WANT to spend time with her instead of us. I fight for him – I do, I nag, I beg, I plead, but there’s something about the keyboard, or the glowing screen, I don’t know what it is. But I know that she ruined yesterday. He was on the computer all morning, which was just crappy, because I felt like I was drowning in crap that I had to get done, and he wasn’t helping – which made me nuts, which in turn, made the kids nuts. There were tears all over the place, and frustration – and it bled over into the rest of the day… I’m crappy at being mad, in that once I get there, I like to stay mad for a while. It takes a lot of effort for me to decide to stop – and yesterday, I was so mad that it just… made for a crappy day. We had scheduled the whole day as a special date day, we dropped the cherubs off at Annie’s and went to a meeting at the BI re: Hebrew School, then went out to lunch and shopping, stopped at the library. Not a real exciting date, I’ll grant you that, but we’ve had WAY more fun doing it together than we did yesterday. He spent most of the day feeling like he’d rather be home playing with his friend, the home computer, and I spent most of the day irritated because of it.
We’ll try again soon, but yesterday was just crappy. Even after we stopped arguing (which really means I stopped, because Marc doesn’t argue, he just ignores me), it didn’t get much better. I think we both wanted to be anywhere other than with each other, which is so not normal for us.
Anyway… moving along, snow day again, and Jess and Sam are home with me. Very peaceful, house is clean and they haven’t started trying to kill each other yet.
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