Melissa Anne Cohen

This isn’t a bad cold, exactly.  But it’s a long lasting one, I feel as though we’ve been collectively sick forever.  Today, I charged out into the world, taking all three kids down to the mall.  Jessie loves the mall above all else, and so for her, it was a dream come true.  We bought lunch, Chinese chicken and nuggets and french fries, then wandered around aimlessly for a while.  I gave them each a dollar and let them go wild in the Dollar store, and then drove to a playground and let them run around for about an hour.  They had baby swings there, and Julianna loves swinging.  She’s such a good girl – when she wasn’t swinging, she played happily on the top of the picnic table, going thru my purse.  I had my niece with me, Isabella, and she and my older two bopped around the playground for a long time.  After that, I packed them up and headed to my mother’s house.

Sam’s hair had gotten out of control long, he looked like Wolfman.  So my sister cut his hair, and it was traumatic for everyone.  He had a knock down dragged out screaming temper tantrum, and then ran in circles, filled with rage, around my mother’s back porch after it was done.  My poor mother and sister had never seen a full blown fit before and I think they were both a little horrified.  Sam’s a mild mannered kid, really, but when he wants to, he can throw down a fit that’s unimaginable.  And since I’ve got eight years of experience dealing with Jessie’s fits, I just stay calm and ignore it as best I can.  Nothing really helps to stop a fit, I’ve tried just about everything, so now I just let him scream it out.  And on the upside, his hair looks a lot better now :-).

Jessica is outside right now, playing with the neighbor, and Sam’s bopping around playing with his army guys.  Poor Julianna is sleeping – a full day doesn’t lead to good napping for her.  So she’s out cold, and I’m sad about that, as she’ll be up all night now 🙁

This is the never ending cold, and we’re still kind of sick here.  It’s been over a week and at least one of us (Marc and I) have been monstrously sick every day.  Coughing, hacking, eyes swelling up, noses running, crabbiness abounds.  I apologize for the lack of blogging, I’m just sick as a dog these days, and it’s all I can do just to sort of lay there.

In other news… school starts in a week and a half.  We’re half heartedly getting ready – and given that it’s 10:08 and my five year old is still asleep, it’s going to be a major adjustment for us.

I’d blog more, but honestly, I just want to go lay back down.

In an effort to share parenting duties, Marc has, from the very beginning, assumed command of feeding Julianna solids.  And since he wasn’t much of one for baby food, she started on regular food pretty early on.  The only snag that is that now, she really only eats consistently when Daddy feeds it to her.   Case in point – I put her in her high chair, give her food I know damn well she loves, and she’ll refuse to eat it.  I’m not clear how this will resolve itself – will she be seventeen, still waiting for Daddy to preapprove all food, cut it and put it on a fork for her?  Probably not – I’m assuming that eventually she’ll start eating the food I give her, but sometimes I wonder….

We’ve all been sick, to one degree or another, since last week.  First Marc and Sam got the cold, then I did, and Jessie still seems to have it.  I feel so much better than I did the past two days, even though I’m not all the way, I’m close enough that I’m cheerful about it.  No slamming migraine, no sore throat – I can handle a little chest congestion and stuffy nose.  That’s nothing compared to how crappy I was feeling.

In other news… all is delightful in my world.  My landlord has randomly decided to remain in FL and would like us to stay here for the foreseeable future (guaranteeing thru the school year) so we’ve suspended the search for housing and I’m very pleased with that.

We’re starting to gear up for school – Jessie starts on 8/31 and Sam starts the following Tuesday, after Labor Day.  Jessie is filled with all the first day of school anxieties, she’s convinced that all of her friends will be in other classes, but I think she’s mostly excited about starting back up.  And Sam is actually almost kind of enthusiastic about it.  He seems to be at the very least, resigned to the idea of attending school, and I take that as a major improvement.

Miss Julianna is still a crawling girl, with nary a step taken.  She just has absolutely no interest in walking and seems honestly perplexed with people telling her that she should be walking.  She’s a champion crawler – and I’m thinking she may in fact be crawling when she starts kindergarten.  She’s fast and efficient, she crawls slowly sometimes, super cheerfully (with an appealing little head bob that’s adorable) and has the super fast crawl.  She’s chattering more and more, and standing up and leading herself along furniture.  I don’t worry that there’s something wrong with her, because she can stand up, she’s just a crawling girl still.

Off to the Ecotarium today 🙂

There are lots of things that Marc brought into my life, he’s brilliant and kind and a wonderful father.  He introduced me to Judaism, libertarian-ism, and of course, gave me three awesome kids.  One of the things I’ve found most interesting is that I’ve found myself doing things I would never have thought I’d do (like having a total stranger chop off part of my son’s penis, converting to a religion that was completely foreign to me, and – please don’t tell my mother – voting Republican in the last election).

But I haven’t been able to get on board with his deep and abiding love of the New England Patriots.  It’s football, and that means really nothing to me.  My only vague experience is thru high school Friday night games, and I just cheered when everyone else did (which did mean that I cheered at least half the time when the opposing team did something good – which did not win me points).  I’m not a sports girl.  I’m the farthest you can get from athletic.  I’m perplexed, at best, when it comes to understanding why this matters to him, but it does.  And because I love him, because we are raising our children together, I make Patriots Football Games (yes, it does need to be capitalized) serious events at our house.

Everything stops.  Everyone must be involved – you don’t have to be watching the game, but you do have to be in the room or within hearing distance.  We usually eat the same thing (Marc’s a big believer in ritual) and engage in the same activities.  I curl up on the couch next to him, reading my book and nodding supportively when it seems appropriate.  I make the kids come in and listen when he explains what’s happening on-screen.  I even make a game of pronouncing Ocho-Cinco.  The kids can stay up as late as they want, as long as they are paying attention to the game (or at least, in the room, not making any noise).

And last Thursday – I really, really enjoyed it.  It was a lovely night.  Julianna went down to bed early, Jessie built an entire city of blocks and figurines on my dining room table and Sam puttered on the floor.  Marc and I snuggled up on the couch, I read my book (Cinderella Ate My Daughter – awesome book) and I was achingly content.  It was one of those moments (and fortunately, there are many of them in my life these days) when I was just happy to be me, here, with these people.  And I have the New England Patriots to thank for it.

I planned on having all of my kids.  Which doesn’t make me better than anyone else, merely points out that the spacing between them was deliberate and well thought out.  And overall, I like the three to four year gap.  It gives each child a chance to really be a baby, by the time the next one was born, the kid was really transitioned well into the preschooler stage.  And the nice thing now is that I have three very different kids, at very different stages in their lives.

Jessica Mary is eight years old, and about to enter third grade.  She’s in the throes of peer pressure, but not in the scary peer mode.  She worries about not having any friends, not about her friends pressuring her to drink or have sex.  Not that it’s not hard, I don’t mean to minimize it, but it’s not scary for me yet.  She’s pulling away from me a little, watching television shows that are a little more grown up, and wouldn’t be caught dead watching Dora.  I think, for Jessica, because she and I are so very close, and so linked in so many ways, the separation between us is challenging.  For both of us, really, but more so for her, I think.   She’s still my little girl in so many ways, still snuggles up to me at night and first thing in the morning, but more and more, I’m seeing her as her own person, dealing with feelings and emotions and challenges that I don’t always understand.  Which is, in and of itself, scary.

Sam is five, and about to start kindergarten.  This is such a huge milestone for any kid, but for Sam, having never attended preschool, I feel like it’s so much more of one.  After September 4 – a big part of his day, five days a week, is going to be spent with people other than me.  And I’ll be honest, I’m sad and wistful and so lonely already.  It’s not any easier to send your second child off than it is to send your first, as much as I wished that it would be.  I can’t imagine him at school – can’t imagine it.  And honestly, can’t write too much more about it without getting teary eyed – he’s been at my side for the past five years, and I can’t fathom what I’ll do without him during the day.

Oh yeah – that’s what I’ll do – Miss Julianna Ruth.  Julie is very much a Mommy’s girl, not that she doesn’t adore her daddy (because she definitely does – she’s much closer to him than either of the other two were at this age), but she’s very, very attached.  She’s my girl – and she’s a part of everything that I do.  Even when I’m not with her, I’m always aware that she’s missing me.  She’s on the brink of so much – almost walking, starting to talk.  Her world, in so many ways, revolves around me.   It’s not that I love her more than the other two, and it’s not that she loves me more than they do.  But right now, she seems to be at the forefront a lot, just by virtue of her age.

Jessie’s world is so much more than just me.  And Sam’s is on the brink of opening up into this huge whole world.  And Julie – so much of Julie is still me.  I’m thinking today about having three very different children, and how each one requires such a different level of parenting.  Jessie is so much more complicated – she doesn’t need to be held and coaxed into eating but what she needs is so much more patience and understanding and reassurance.  Julie’s needs are so much simpler – but easier to meet, she just needs me.  I don’t even have to do all that much, just my presence is enough for her.  Sam is still caught right in the middle – he’s not old enough to be a big kid, but so much bigger than a little kid.

We went to Canobie Lake yesterday – which is a big, old fashioned (I say old fashioned because I went there every year when I was a kid and I don’t think it’s changed at all) amusement park.  We’ve been several times with the kids – and quite frankly, Sam has hated it every time we’ve gone.  He’s occasionally, borderline, sort of not been miserable, but actual enjoyment?  Nope.

And I just figured it was Sam.  He didn’t like big crowds, he didn’t like new places.  But I realized yesterday that, while all of that was true when he was two and three and four, now that he’s FIVE – it’s a whole new world and I spent most of the day just utterly impressed at how big he’s gotten.  And only a tiny bit wistful, because he’s getting so big so fast.

He rode EVERYTHING.  Scary rides that I knew he wouldn’t be able to handle, but let him go on anyway, because he begged and I believe in letting them make their own choices, when possible.  He didn’t cry once, he’d hop off a ride, holler “That was AWESOME!”,and look for the next one.  He was perfectly behaved the entire time (which was more than I can say for his sisters – one wandered off and got lost, one cried for twenty minutes on the way home because we weren’t home yet, one sobbed thru the park on the way to the car because she was “dizzy sick” and her blisters hurt, and the other one is a year old and resented being put in the carriage).  Sam was amazing – he was articulate, described with letter perfect accuracy where a ride was located, rode everything he wanted, rode home happily in the least favorite seat and was, in general, the best behaved child there.

My anti-social little clingy boy is growing up.  And I can’t believe how proud I am.

I realize in the overall scheme of things, my problems aren’t really that big.  Everyone’s healthy and happy, and we will have a roof over our heads, regardless.  It’s just the constant tension over WHICH roof.  Do we stay here, do we move?  This is what I’ve been doing, constantly searching for an apartment and agonizing over whether or not I need to look at all.  Our landlord, while lovely, is horribly indecisive and I don’t deal well with other people’s indecision.  I actually don’t deal well with my own indecision, but someone else’s is even harder.  Especially because he is such a nice guy, and I don’t want to hurt his feelings by screaming “I’m leaving, I don’t CARE what you want to do!”

In other news – Julianna is still not walking.  Going on fifteen and a half months, and still not a step taken.  She is, however, getting actual callouses on the palms of her hands from constantly crawling because she’s all over the place.  She communicating more and more, and just recently starting standing independently on purpose (as opposed to accidentally).  She’s such an agreeable baby, very little irritates her, unless you try to take what she’s playing with, in which case, she’ll bellow furiously.

Samilicious Boy has spent most of the summer in his underwear.  He’d be naked, but Julianna is a little too curious, so I insist on at least underwear.  It’s been a good summer for Sam, and I’m optimistic that he’ll adapt well to kindergarten.  Truth be told, I’m terrified of him starting school, but pretending that I’m not.  He’ll be fine, right?

Jessica Mary is fighting summer reading HARD.  And finally, I got so irritated with her (bitterly ironic that I have to fight to get my daughter to READ), that I told her that she was cooking dinner all this week, and one of her book reports could be on recipes.  She’s made chocolate chip cookies, homemade spaghetti sauce and fresh chicken nuggets.  I sit at the table (with a book) and am available for questions and gentle reminders (because left to her own devices, she gets distracted easily).

Canobie Lake today – very excited 🙂

My tiny Julianna is cutting all four of her first year molars.  One is already in, and the other three are just poking thru.  What makes this remarkable is not that she’s cutting all four at once (how unfair is that??) but that I HAD NO IDEA.  What kind of mother has no clue that her child is cutting FOUR molars?  This kind, in case you were wondering.  I thought she was a little crabby…

In other news – apartment/house hunting is going well.  I finally feel like we’re making progress, I’ve seen two places so far, and have appts to see two more later on today.  I liked the first one a little, liked the second one more, and am really hopeful about the next two that I’m looking at.

Which is an especially apt post title, as I’m thinking about moving and about my baby girl not moving.

First, the move.  We still don’t know where we’re going – and my stress level is not adapting well to this.  I’m okay with moving, I’m not thrilled about it, but I can handle it.  What I can’t handle is not knowing where we’re going.  So after a week and a half of solid, unending nagging, Marc has managed to get me an appt with the real estate chick and we’re going out searching tomorrow morning.  I’m bringing Annie with me, as my mother is booked with party planning and an extra pair of eyes will definitely help.

I’m working my way thru de-cluttering again.  I declutter all the livelong day, it feels like, and yet am constantly surrounded by crap I’d rather have gotten rid of.  Today’s big project is the girls’ room.  I’m blessed with a ridiculous amount of clothes – I buy them clothes (although not a lot) and their grandmothers buy them clothes.  I also get a LOT of hand-me-downs, so they’ve got TONS of clothes.  I’ve already given a bag away to Jordyn, and am working on a bag for Becky’s daughter Abby, and I’ve got one bag already ready to donate to the local Savers.  And I’m not even close to done going thru their stuff.

In other news… my Julianna Ruth is still not walking.  And she’s fifteen months old today.  She’s a busy crawling little girl, and climbing up and down off the couch.  I consulted babycenter, and they contend that the problem is that she either spent too much time with lazy parents sticking her in a stationary walker (we didn’t even have one for her) or she’s too catered to – having everything handed to her and gets carried everywhere (she’s the youngest of three, I don’t have the time or capability to cater to and carry her – even if I wanted to).  I think she’s just very deliberate.  She’s capable of getting around and getting what she wants crawling, why stress out over walking?  I’m, by nature, kind of lazy.  I’d rather sit than stand, and rather lay down than sit.  She is her mother’s daughter, after all.

I’m trying to be all zen and relaxed about it – and Jessica didn’t walk consistently until she was closer to 18 months.  But she had taken her first steps at 11 months, and Sam was a running boy by the time he was 13 months.  Julianna is developing fine in all other respects, sleeping, eating, talking… she’s just NOT walking.  She’s kissing the computer as I’m typing, so she’s developing well emotionally well 🙂

She’s so stinking cute.