To my son, on the eve of his seventh birthday

Dear Sam –

At seven years old, I can see, sometimes, just a little bit, the man you’ll be some day.    Smart, so smart, and such a good, good man.   When people speak of you, the first thing they always say to me is that you are such a sweet, sweet boy.  You are kind and thoughtful and such a good brother and friend.  From the very beginning, you have stunned me and humbled me with your strength of will, your utter and complete devotion and your incredible sweetness.

When you were born, I was a pretty confident mother.  With a three year old already, I figured I knew what I was doing.  You quickly disabused me of that notion, and have, in the past seven years, taught me more about motherhood and standing up for what I know to be right, even when it isn’t popular or easy.   You came into this world with an enormous force of will, and the passion and drive to make the world conform to your ideas of how it should be.

You are incredibly determined, and such a tender, tender heart.  I think sometimes the dichotomy of that – your passion and strength, and your achingly sweet vulnerability and desire to please make it very hard to be you.   But what makes it hard at three and five and seven years old is what makes you so amazing.  You are simple and pure, and funny and sweet and mischievous.  You are an amazing friend, with best buddies that date from infancy, and both your oldest and youngest sisters’ favorite sibling.   Lilli will still get on the floor and wrestle with you, and Julie thinks the sun rises and sets in your eyes.  Sarah and Jessie love you, but it’s your oldest and youngest sisters that you gravitate towards most of the time.

You are my boy, my buddy, my baby.  You’ve grown up so much this past year, there was a time, not long ago, when you were my koala baby.  Now you’re running and jumping and only occasionally needing to check back, to make sure, to recharge yourself with a little Mama time.  It’s at night, snuggled up reading Harry Potter, or first thing in the morning when you still curl up in Daddy’s lap for breakfast and cuddles when we remember the tiny boy you used to be.  You are big and bold and brave, conquering demons that only you really understand.  We are so enormously proud of you, every day, and love you more than you can imagine.

I love you, my Samilicious Boy.  You are everything I ever wanted in a son, and you make your dad and I happier than you’ll ever know.  Happy birthday Buddy – you make my world a better place because you’re in it.